As a quick, mid-week update, we’re finally at the beginning of IVF!!!
Basically, I took my last birth control pill two days ago, and now get to wait for Aunt Flow (yay).
When she gets here, I’ll call my doctor so I can go in for “day 3 labs” to determine my IVF medication protocol. I believe I’ll also have an ultrasound either that day, or shortly after. We also need for my husband to have a semen analysis, which will finish up the testing.
While waiting for results, I’ll go back on the pill.
Then, when we know what meds I need, I’ll get those ordered, and then we’ll get started!
I’m freaking out!
***Disclaimer for the rest of this post – I’m just typing my stream of consciousness, and editing very minimally!***
Over the past (almost) year since surgery to remove my Fallopian tubes, it’s been easier to stay calm and chill, because we weren’t wondering “is this it?” every month.
Now, we’re getting back into all of it, and it’s consuming my thoughts!
Mostly, I want to balance where I place my hope. Way easier said than done!
Intellectually, I know the Lord is in control, and nothing I can do will get me pregnant if that’s not what He has in store. And if that’s the case, I believe that’s somehow for my good.
My struggle is in not wanting that to be what’s for my good! Do you know what I mean?
I was awake for a few hours in the middle of the night last night, thinking through all of this. I really believe this will just be a day at a time thing, that I lean on Him for, and I have to avoid all the “what if” thoughts.
Also easier said than done.
So, rather than “borrow trouble,” I’m going to really work on keeping my brain in the now, and avoid playing things out in my head. The Lord will give me what I need, when I need it, regardless.
Ya’ll, if you don’t have a relationship with Him, I don’t know how you’re doing life. Even on my yucky feeling days, the peace that comes from Him and His promises is life giving. Without it, I am positive I wouldn’t have lasted through all this.
Thanks for reading – I’ll post another update soon!
(Oh, also – TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! – yes, I’m five and LOVE birthdays!)